The past is the past, let it be

So I'm definitely not one to let all of my laundry air out for all to see. The one and only reason I'm even going to post this next post is because I've come to terms with everything that has happened over the last 2 years.
I never thought I would be one of "those" families. The ones I had heard about where nobody ended up happy and there was a lose/lose situation for all involved in the problem.
I'll never forget the day I found out that my husband was having an affair.
And not just any affair. An affair that had been going on for over a year with someone I considered a very close friend. With someone that was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Someone who was married herself. With someone that I looked at and talked to on a daily basis and the entire time was living a double life with the one person I had entrusted my life, my love an my faith with. Once it was out on the table the details started to flow, literally flow, like a raging river out of my now ex-husbands mouth. I learned details that I never wanted to know about the 'love' that they had for each other, about how they felt like they were soul mates.
I am not saying that the affair is the only reason my marriage crumbled. There had to of been a reason that it started in the first place. There were cracks in our marriage that allowed that to happen. There's definitely no excuse for what he did, for what they both did. However, there are reasons behind everything.
My marriage ended. I took very few things and walked away from the house, from the car, from the town that ha become my home. I literally thought my life was over. Yes I was the one that filed for it, not because I wanted it at the time, but because I wanted my daughter and my sons to realize that as a human I deserved better than that. As a woman I deserved better than that. It was the single hardest thing I have ever done. I wondered what the kids would think of me, of why I ended the marriage, of why I tore apart the family that they thought existed. Then I realized and hoped that some day down the road they would be proud of me. I never thought I'd be in that position. I never thought that I would have to 'share' my children. I have to go 7 full long days without them in my home while that are at their fathers house. That is the only part I still struggle with every day.
I know this next sentence is also going to sound very strange....but it is also the best thing that could of happened to me. It woke me up. It made me realize that I was not the person I could be, that I was not the person that I should be. I was a shell of my former self. I have spent the last two years finding out who I am and what I am made of. I've emerged as a strong, confident and independent woman. A better listener, an even better communicator and a much better mother. Granted it was a harsh wake up call, it could have been easier and there were most certainly other ways to get where I am but for me there was a reason I had to go through it I guess. I am now in an amazing relationship with someone that is truly my best friend. Someone that I can look over my shoulder and see that he is already looking at me. I'm thankful for what I had to go through because it's brought me to where I am.

A new beginning

It's so hard to believe it has been a year and a half since I have written anything on the blog. My life has changed in so many ways and I can't wait to share them all.
I have traveled a long way and found who I am all over again. My goal is to post several blogs about some changes that have come into my life and to start anew as I travel on my journey that I'm on now. The future holds amazing things for all!