The past is the past, let it be

So I'm definitely not one to let all of my laundry air out for all to see. The one and only reason I'm even going to post this next post is because I've come to terms with everything that has happened over the last 2 years.
I never thought I would be one of "those" families. The ones I had heard about where nobody ended up happy and there was a lose/lose situation for all involved in the problem.
I'll never forget the day I found out that my husband was having an affair.
And not just any affair. An affair that had been going on for over a year with someone I considered a very close friend. With someone that was a bridesmaid in my wedding. Someone who was married herself. With someone that I looked at and talked to on a daily basis and the entire time was living a double life with the one person I had entrusted my life, my love an my faith with. Once it was out on the table the details started to flow, literally flow, like a raging river out of my now ex-husbands mouth. I learned details that I never wanted to know about the 'love' that they had for each other, about how they felt like they were soul mates.
I am not saying that the affair is the only reason my marriage crumbled. There had to of been a reason that it started in the first place. There were cracks in our marriage that allowed that to happen. There's definitely no excuse for what he did, for what they both did. However, there are reasons behind everything.
My marriage ended. I took very few things and walked away from the house, from the car, from the town that ha become my home. I literally thought my life was over. Yes I was the one that filed for it, not because I wanted it at the time, but because I wanted my daughter and my sons to realize that as a human I deserved better than that. As a woman I deserved better than that. It was the single hardest thing I have ever done. I wondered what the kids would think of me, of why I ended the marriage, of why I tore apart the family that they thought existed. Then I realized and hoped that some day down the road they would be proud of me. I never thought I'd be in that position. I never thought that I would have to 'share' my children. I have to go 7 full long days without them in my home while that are at their fathers house. That is the only part I still struggle with every day.
I know this next sentence is also going to sound very strange....but it is also the best thing that could of happened to me. It woke me up. It made me realize that I was not the person I could be, that I was not the person that I should be. I was a shell of my former self. I have spent the last two years finding out who I am and what I am made of. I've emerged as a strong, confident and independent woman. A better listener, an even better communicator and a much better mother. Granted it was a harsh wake up call, it could have been easier and there were most certainly other ways to get where I am but for me there was a reason I had to go through it I guess. I am now in an amazing relationship with someone that is truly my best friend. Someone that I can look over my shoulder and see that he is already looking at me. I'm thankful for what I had to go through because it's brought me to where I am.

A new beginning

It's so hard to believe it has been a year and a half since I have written anything on the blog. My life has changed in so many ways and I can't wait to share them all.
I have traveled a long way and found who I am all over again. My goal is to post several blogs about some changes that have come into my life and to start anew as I travel on my journey that I'm on now. The future holds amazing things for all!

Fun at the park!

today the kids needed to run off some energy so i took them to the Jericho Elementary School playground this afternoon. They had not been to this park before and they really liked it! We ran around, learned how to pump on the swings and climbed on their spiderweb circle/rock wall structure. They still had too much energy today, even after all the fun......it has been a very very looooong day!

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Aiden's arm

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------Original Message------
From: kriscarpe0803@gmail.com <kriscarpe0803@gmail.com>
To: <roue33tedium@m.facebook.com>
Date: Fri, Sep 17, 6:57 PM +0000
Subject: Aiden's arm

The school year started of great. Aiden was very excited about his first day of 2nd grade. Things were going great until the 3rd day of school. Calleigh had her preK orientation that day and both Wes and I went to the school with her. We were on our way out when we saw Aiden headed to the playground and we gave him a hug before we went to switch car seats and stuff from Wesley's car to mine. We weren't even in the parking lot 2 minutes when both of our cell phones went off and it was the school. Wes answered his first and the school nurse said Aiden was injured and we needed to pick him up. I went back into the school and what i saw made my heart drop. Aiden's arm was going in two directions, quite obviously badly broken. We made or way to the car and went to the er. They did x rays and saw both his radius and his ulna were broken One was just fractured, the other was completely snapped. They were going to have to reduce it. So they knocked him out with ketamine (which we are all to familiar with from Calleigh's stitches). He was then put into a soft cast/splint and given some pain meds. The poor guy was miserable. As a mom it is the kind of pain yyou never want to see your child go through. I wished I could tale it all away. He was in the soft splint for about ten days to allow the swelling to go down and is in a temporary hard cast until this monday.

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Aiden's first day of 2nd grade!

I know I am behind but Aiden had his firsta day in 2nd grade on Sept. 1st! It is so hard to believe he is there and so tall (and SO mouthy). He had a great start to the school year until the third day of school when he broke his arm in 2 places! That story will come on monday once he goes back to Ortho and I can write the full story. Just to forwarn some i will be posting two pics of the arm and ot is nasty if you are squimish at all be prepared! Here's hoping for a great school year filled with Happy Memories!

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riley's third birthday

Finally getting around to posting a few pictures of my baby's 3rd birthday! so hard to believe he is 3 already. He is a strong willed,lovable and caring little boy. Some may call him a monster because he can be crazy sometimes, bbut i love every minute of it!

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Blueberry Picking

We did some blueberry picking this summer and I am just getting around to FINALLY posting some pics!