To work or not to work?

I am once again facing the dilema. I absolutely LOVE staying at home with my kiddos and the hope is to continue doing that. However, with all of the winter bills piling up and summer ahead I have to decide if I can go back to work. It always come back to the same question though. Childcare. No matter where I go to work or what I do we would have to pay for childcare for two children and that would total around $350/week! Then once summer comes we would need care for Aiden and that would tack on even more to the expense. So when it comes down to it: paying for childcare would wipe out my take home pay. Then the next question would be...would it help my sanity to be out of the house? As stated above: I LOVE staying at home. However, I do crave adult connections and some childless hours. I get it from all sides. Why would you want to leave them? Like I am abandoning them or something. I feel bad enough already thank you! I also get the don't you want to get out of the house, don't you want to help alleviate your husband's workload? Of course I do. If I had the choice I would only want him to do school and then be at home with the kids and I as much as possible. Of course I want to have adult interaction. I just wish that it was an easy decision to make. I used to work in childcare before/while I had kids. I don't think that is where I want to go back. I am kind of burnt out on it. I am around kids all the time now, so I don't think I want to make it my life anymore. I have thought of doing the HR Block tax course. The last (and only) time we had our taxes done by someone else they suggested I should do it because I did such a great job with all of our previous years taxes and caught things they missed. I don't want to say I am talentless....but I don't have much expertise in many areas. So my opportunities are kind of limited. I think I may try and stick it out until Wes finishes school and gets through finding another job before I make any changes.

Doctor's office or a second home?

You know it's pretty sad (but good and comforting in a way) when the doctor's office knows you by sight and the nurses remember all 3 kids names and what they like. We have been into that office twice in the last 24 hours and as much as I really like the office, I am kind of tired of seeing them! We went in today for Riley. He slept horrible last night, maybe a total of 3 and a half hours. He woke up with a fever of about 103 and it went up to about 104. He was and is still miserable. His eyes are red and watery and they have very large bags under them. As soon as we got home from the doctor's ofice....the vomiting started. He has done it twice now and sorry if it seems like too much information. And of course, the six and three year old are grossly disgusted but strangely fascinated by what can come out of a 19 month old. The *good* news is there is no ear infetion in the ears. It seems to just be a virus. I just hope it is a 24 hour thing and he is the only poor soul in this house to get this bug. He just sits there and stares at me with those eyes. They are basically begging me to do something to help him....which I only wish I could do. It has gotten to that point where I would be sick for him if I could. He took a very brief 30 minute nap before the doctor's office, only to wake up very hot, sweaty and screaming. We went back to just sitting and staring. I just really hope he feels better by tomorrow.

Ear infections

So we just came back from yet another Doctor's appointment. Calleigh has yet another double ear infection. She just finished her meds from the last one at the beginning of this past week. Her tubes are officially out so here we go again. I feel awful that I had to give Calleigh and Riley my poor ear problems. I had to have the tubes surgery done 12 times. 6 in and 6 out. I hope it does not affect her hearing in the long run. I wish it was her doctor that was on call today but it wasn't. Poor Calleigh screamed the minute Dr. Long came in. She kept yelling "I don't want a shot". Referring to when she got her stitches and they had to give her a shot of Ketamine to knock her out. It hurt her quite a bit because she moved just as they were putting the needle into her leg. We will have to have the "do we or don't we" discussion as to whether or not we will do another round of tubes in her ears. It did make an improvement the last time, but she did still get ear infections off and on even with them in. We will have to wait and see what comes of it.

Family Time!

Today was an absolutely beautiful day out! I believe it was about 64 and sunny and just a slight breeze outside. We ended up picking Daddy up at work around 1:30 and made our way to Chuck-Lin's Sugar house for Maple Open House Weekend! The kids had so much fun, we ended up running into our cousins Michael, Cayce, Jake and Cooper. The kids were very excited to see them and we did not know they would be there. We waited patiently at the bottom of the road for the Horse drawn carraige to take us up to the sugar house. Riley was super fascinated with these gigantic horses. They are beautiful! The road was very very muddy. There were parts where it was pure slop. Once we got to the sugar house they had sap and syrup samples and the best tasting maple cream cookies. No Joke. I have never had anything that has tasted as yummy as these cookies did. They got them from On the Rise Bakery right in Richmond and I will be going tomorrow to see if they have more down there! They were kind of like a shortbread cookie with a smooth maple cream in the middle. There is a picture below of Riley diving right in! The kids got to see the sap boiling and turning into syrup. They were fascinated by how much smoke there was inside the sugar house. My husband got a lesson on the difference in the grades of syrup.....while I chased and hunted three crazy kiddos. We know Jack Linn and his family through my husband's famly. So they spent time catching up while we ate the cooies and sampling the yummy goodness! We ended up walking back down the road and it was a great walk in the woods and through the mud. The kids got to check out the sap lines and buckets. It was so much fun and much needed family time that we don't get it very often! Daddy unfortunatly had to be back at work to help out after his own 8 hour shift. He will be home for dinner, but I cannot wait until we are through this and he does not have to be working there anymore! It was a lot of fun and here are some pictures from today!

The new stroller arrival!

My new stroller is here! I am very very excited about it! We ended up going with the Dreamer Design Dreamer Manhattan Lite. It is a great stroller. We did have a slight problem with the wheel. The axle hole is too small for wither wheel to fit on the left side. They both fit in the right side but not all the way into the left. We have called Dreamer Design and she said as long as it is secure and does not affect the functionality of the stroller it should still be safe. I used it for Stroller Strides today and it strolled beautifully! The best thing about it is the handle can adjust from 38-45 inches! It is great because I need a higher handle height bt others that may be using the stroller would need it lower. Riley also rides up higher, shich is nice, he can see everything that is going on. It has two larger water bottle holders on the back of the seat back as well as a zippered storage compartment above that that is a nice size to hold a few diapers/wipes and wallet etc. It has mesh cup holders on the inside of the seat for Riley and a nice sized basket underneath. I sometime's go back and forth that I should have gotten another double stroller, but we will keep the old InStep double Jogger for those times we may need to strap in Miss Monkey Calleigh. She is getting too big weight wise for most doubles anyway. This new stroller goes up to 80 pounds so even Aiden will be able to ride in it for at least 2 more years! I cannot say enough good things about this stroller! I LOVE it! It is the 2007 model so we got a great value on it at closeout price of $175 on http://www.returnsforsale.com/, a fantastic site! It retailed for $230. I am so excited to have a new toy!

Sanity Time

Such a busy time of year. I am trying to find time for myself in all the craziness. I got to go out to Mexicali with other Moms on Tuesday night and it was a lot of fun! I have to say the service was horrible and the food was not great, but just getting out of the house was what I needed. Just next time I will not be going to Mexicali. I am hoping at least twice a month to have what I call sanity time. After the other night I felt refreshed and happier all around. My hubby gets his time every week where he goes and plays "mangames"-darts, pool, etc. So why shouldn't I have mine? Oh wait, there are three kids to find a sitter for-ha! It is very very difficult to find a sitter for three kids under tha age of 6. They are lovable kids, I promise! They have their moments, but we all do right? I am in the process of working out a babysitter issue. We have come to the realization we are going to have to go to the "outside world" for a babysitter. The only issue with that is cost. Either we can afford to go out to do something or we can afford to pay the babysitter, but not both. At least not most of the time.
Hopefully we wil lbe able to figure it all out and Mommy can have her sanity time. We would all be much happier.

Giving roots.

Aiden had his appt with the counselor today. It was interesting and he was way more into the toys she had in her office than actually speaking with her. He had about 25 minutes alone in the room with her so hopefully he opened up then. I just hope we can get the help he/us need to get him back to the fun, happy kid he was last year. Wes and I go back next Tuesday to decide where to go from here. Calleigh and Riley ended up staying with my sister in law, Dawn while I went with Aiden. I was pretty nervous. Riley is definitely a Mama's boy so I was not sure how he was going to do with Dawn. The last time I left him with her, which was quite a while ago, he cried for an hour. This time it was smooth sailing and he played the entire 2.5 hours with his sister and another little girl that was there. I am happy to know he will be okay when Mommy leaves his side.
However, I am a little sad to know he will be okay when I leave his side. As a Mom I know that it is my job to give them roots and then let them branch out on there own. I just wish I could be behind them with pillows in case they fall and a stool if they need a step up. I know though that I just need to be there with the band-aids and shoulder when they do fall and the praise and listening ear when they do step up. I know there are going to be times when I have to trust they will make the right decision with the information I have given them, and that I can't make those decisions for them. I knwo that they need to live their life just like I lived mine. The good and the bad, no matter how much I want to shelter them in Mother's reach forever.