Tonight was Aiden's 6 year birthday (family) party. At some point this past year we decided to stop doing more than one family party. We used to split it up and do my side and my husband's side at different times. I think just because of the size of our two families! So tonight, we had about 25 people in our home, all here to celebrate Aiden! His birthday is officially tomorrow but we wanted to keep it special for him since this year it happens to fall on Easter so we did cake and ice cream tonight. He helped me to make Devils food chocolate cupcakes with White and Blue frosting on them. We also had Chocolate chip ice cream.
I still cannot believe that my *baby* will turn six years old at 4:15 tomorrow afternoon. These past years have flown by so quickly. I can still remember the day you were born. I had gone in for a routine appointment, but as soon as they did my weight and checked my blood pressure I could tell something was not right. Then when they asked me to pee in the cup I knew there must be something off. Turns out my blood pressure was very high and ther was protein in my urine. They immediatly asked me if there was someone that could meet me at the hosptial because I was going over right then and there. They even wanted to call me an ambulance! My doctor's office is literally 100 feet from the hospital entrance. I became very very nervous. You were almost 6 weeks early. You weren't ready. They couldn't have you yet. You still needed time. We weren't ready yet. I called Daddy and he was going to get someone to cover for him, he was basically the only one at the cafe so he had to wait for someone to get there. Nana was working at the hospital at the time so I called her and she met me up in Maternity. They immediatly hooked me up to IV's, gave me the medicine to make your lungs stronger, and started with the induction. 4 hours later you were here.
So tiny and small. You couldn't breathe on your own and you had to wear special light sensitive glasses in the incubator. It was heartbreaking not to be able to hold you for the first 24 hours you were here with us. I couldn't even see you for the first 4 hours. I was there as much as I could be though. Everyone wanted to see you and be with you. Some people were scared to go into the NICU to see you. They went and their hearts immediatly were bonded to yours. You came off of the respirator on the second day in the NICU and I was able to hold you. That moment was imprinted on my brain. You were so small and it was hard not to think I was breaking you when I held you. You were so strong and were fighting so hard to be a part of our lives. I left the hospital after three days, without you. It is nothing I wish for any other parent to go through. I know many parents have had to leave hospitals without their children, I just wish it was something that no parent ever has to go through. You struggled with eating for the first 4 days. You had a feeding tube but it was just not enough. I was trying to pump breast milk and bring it to you, but my milk was just not coming in. It was so terrifying to think I could not provide for my own child. And of course the judgemental ones that were pushing me to keep pumping and were sometimes down right harsh to me that I wasn't trying enough. Finally you began taking formula on the fifth day. You slowly began gaining weight and the feeding tube came out. You were getting so strong and had quite the fiery personality. You stayed in the NICU for seven days. The longest seven days of my life. You were then moved to the transition nursery at the Vermont Children's Hopital one floor down. You stayed there for three days while you got stronger and healthier and could keep the weight on you were slowly gaining. I hope I never forget the feeling in my heart that day when they told me you would be going hom. Pure Love and Joy.
We left to go and get your carseat because you had to be sat in it and tested before they would approve you to go home in it. I came back with Nana and Great Gramma to test it out. I will never forget driving to the hospital and I had just the seat itself sideways in the back seat of the car, it was not buckled or in the base because you were not in it. Well, we got pulled over! The cop came up to the side of the car laughing. He thought there was a child in the seat and not buckled! I was happy to know they would pull someone over with a seat like that, but hoped that nobody would ever have had a child buckled in an infant carseat that way! We went to the hospital and you did great in the seat with your breathing and your heart rate stayed steady. Daddy and I came and brought you home later that day. I am forever greatful for the wonderful people that helped us throught the first terrifying week of your life. There were people that were not helpful, but we ended up coming home with the most precious thing ever. A strong, healthy little boy.
I look at you now and I see the same thing. A strong, healthy, rambunctios (and yes stubborn) boy. Just not so little anymore. Where did the time go? Next time I blink you will be taller than I am, but I will always see that small, little boy that gave us all hope.
I love you Aiden James.
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