Mother

Well, my three year old daughter has started calling me Mother. I thought I had a good five years before this one came! I have a feeling this one is my fault though.

We were arguing one day and I pulled out the old line "I am your mother........". So regrettably I have been hearing mother after everything she says.

"I'm coming mother."

"Can you help me mother"

"I have to go potty mother"

"get over here mother"- This one gets the mean Mommy look I have mentioned in the past.

At first I ignored it figuring that if she was not getting the attention it woud stop and we could move back to the cute shrill "Mommy" after everything. Now...I have started calling her child after everything. So I guess if you can't beat 'em. Join 'em!

you learn something new everyday.

You truly do learn something new everyday, especially when you have three children under the age of six.

Today I learned that I have to give into the fact that as long as I am driving Aiden to school and no matter how early we get up.........he will inevitably be late to school.
It's true. and horrible at the same time. The only good thing is that while there is still a bus driver shortage, he still gets there before his bus does. I would rather drive him in and have him 5 minutes late, than stand out there for 15 minutes in the snow and wind to have him almost 15 minutes late. I truly hope that the bus can get back to a normal routine soon though. We still have the daily fight because he wants to be on the bus.

I also learned from my dauaghter today that she has a "peanut". This may offend others...but any mom will understand. She was going potty and said she nedded to wipe her "peanut". When I asked her what she meant and she repeated it I realized she was trying to say penis. After choking back a laugh I tried to explain to her that she does not have a "peanut". How do you explain that to a three year old without laughing? I was kind of caught off gaurd, even though, with Calleigh, not much catches me off gaurd!

I also re-learn patience everyday.

BLAH

So today is kind of a BLAH day. My back is still sore from falling. I am tired and stressed out. This is the time of year when money gets tight from fuel deliveries and so on. I know everyone has their own complaints so I will move on.
I guess I just have a lot on my mind and don't really know where to talk/vent about it! Most of it should probably just stay in the brain anyway. Kind of one of those things where I need to vent and I will write a letter and then throw it in the fire. I don't do that very often, but I think it is needed right now!
So, just a short blurb.

Snow Day!

Snow Day! I was wondering where all the snow was when I woke up this morning. I even came downstairs and checked the phone to see if the school system had called with their automated system to say school was cancelled. That phone call came at 9:30 to say they were closing the school early. I had also brought Calleigh to school this morning so I packed Riley in the car and went to get her and stock up on milk before Aiden made his way home. Well, it was already slippery in the driveway from the cold temperatures and snow build up previously. I managed to get Riley into the car on his side and then went around to my side of the car. That was the point I met the ground. It wasn't a pleasent meeting and I don't think I want to meet it again! It was a bit painful and my back is sore, but I am still moving so I will be fine!
I think we will try to make hot chocolate later and play Ker Plunk-our new favorite game of choice at the moment. I remember playing that game (many) years ago! It seems weird that my kids are now playing it. We go back and forth between Ker Plunk and a game we found called ducks in a row-I think that is the name, or maybe just what we ended up calling it. Kind of a cross between tic tac toe and Connect four. Aiden loves it and Calleigh even likes counting the ducks and "playing".
I have tried remembering my camera more often. I want to be able to put more pictures up and share more of our lives with everyone. I hope to get more pictures on soon!

yeah...I am THAT Mom.

Okay, so I am THAT kind of Mom.
My laundry pile sometimes reaches my shoulder's.
My breakfast dishes are generally in my sink until way into the afternoon.
My dinner dishes are there until after bedtime.
My toy pile is almost as high as my laundry pile.
The craft drawer bursts onto the counters and floors.
My junk drawer does the same.
I eat junk food to make it through the day.
I sometimes feed junk food too-rarely, but hey...it happens.
Caffeine is my drug of choice.
I threaten and have a hard time following through.
I have a mean Mommy look.
We have several DVD's that have been worn to the labels.
Nap time is sit time....yes chores should be done, but sanity is nice too.
I may be THAT kind of Mom, but I am also THIS kind of Mom.
I know how much that shredded blankie means and would drive to the ends of the earth if we forgot it.
The single tear can mean the same as streams down the cheeks.
Even though you can't see that BooBoo, the scream still means hurt pride.
Nothing makes it better than a hug and a kiss.
I make a mean Hot chocolate on a cold snow day.
Eskimo kisses are fabulous.
I could recite Brown Bear Brown Bear by heart, and have done so through many vaccinations and vomiting episodes.
Snuggling is my favorite past time.
We have several DVD's that have been worn to the labels....I know a repeat, but a loved thing can fit both lists.
Rolling on the floor is my kind of exercise.
So isn't throwing a giggler into the air.
Giggling makes great exercise too.
Secrets are great...especially when the entire room can hear them!
Family is truly what makes the world go round.
You can also add the Toy pile, the messy faces, and marker moustaches to the mix.

No my house is not always clean and my sanity is not always in tact. However, my kids go to bed at night with smiles on their faces and love in their hearts. More importantly, their love is in my heart. Being a Mom rocks.

Well, my new computer is broken, at least the plug is broken. So I am using the very slow old laptop that sometimes just shuts off randomly and is very hard to use!
We had a rough weekend. My youngest brother that passed away in the car accident a year ago had a chihuahua named Paco. He was a mean dog to most, but he and Brandon were the best of friends and they did everything together. Paco died Saturday night. It was very hard because it was a piece of Brandon we thought we would be able to hold onto for a while. I guess he just couldn't take it anymore without B and now they are together wherever they are.
Calleigh is doing better. She had a double ear infection and a chest infection. However, even that did not slow her down! She is a fiesty one. Riley's ear infection is gone now, but he has a little bit of fluid left in his ear, so we may end up back in the doctor by the end of the week. I am keeping my fingers crossed for that and that we don't get the nasty stomach bug that is going around and has hit many of our friends in full force!
Hopefully I get to get back on and write some more later. I want to write a lot right now, but I have to go wake my children up (crazy I know!). It is almost 5 though and I will pay if they sleep much longer.

Busy Times

Busy times right now. We have been having furnace problems and it has been difficult trying to keep the house warm, but hopeully-crossing my fingers, knees and toes-that today will be that last day it is fixed! We thought we had it fixed three times already, but each time it only works for about 4 hours and then goes again. We have been on the sickness front again. Aiden had the cough, runny nose for about a day. He stayed home Tuesday and was supposed to rest, but he was feeling fine by 10:30, so he went to school Wednesday! Now poor Calleigh has it and she has a pretty bad cough. We went today to the doctor and she has a double ear infection and a chest infection. So now we are on an antibiotic for both Riley and Calleigh. Riley will be done with his tomorrow though.

I am a little bummed though. We were going to go to Echo this morning after Stroller Strides with everyone, but we decided to hold off and then she had her appt anyway. I am thinking we will go on Sunday though. We have not been in quite a while so it would have been nice to make it. We are going to buy a pass so we can go more often. I am trying to find more things to get out to right now because we are definitely feeling the cabin fever right now, especially with the illnesses being passed around.

We went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner tonight with the Mother and sister in law! I have been wanting to go and check it out. It was really good. The salad was very good and Calleigh of course loved the rolls with Cinnamon Butter! Riley was a big fan of the cheesecake and strawberries! Aiden had a long day at school and was a little quiet tonight, that is until he was told he could not spend the night at Nama's house. Calleigh was also loving the music and the line dancing they do in the aisle. She stood up and danced along. They also did a Happy Birthday YEE HAW to two people while we were there and Calleigh LOVED it! I could see her working there if she was old enough. She had a blast! You would never know she was sick by the way she was acting tonight.

Side note-We finally have heat that works! Unfortunatly we had to spend the $400 to buy a new motor. yay.

Red Sox Nation

Today after Stroller Strides, we went to see the Red Sox trophy and Wally the Green Monster. I was a little surprised that the line wrapped from the seating area by The Children's Place (where the trophy was) all the way to the food court! It was crazy, but in a good way. The kids were a little antsy standing in line, but thankfully Christina, AJ, Lindsey and Maddi were there with us. The box of munchkins from Dunkin Donuts helped a little until it became a battle because they wanted more. We got to see Wally the monster and the kids did great!

Riley got to give him a high five. Calleigh liked him from a distance. She got close a few times but you could tell she was hesitant. Aiden just sat there and then finally got out and there were other people that had Red Sox shirts on and Wally was signing their shirts. Well of course, Aiden wanted Wally to sign his shirt. However, he did not have a Red Sox shirt on so we compromised and he signed his blanket he managed to drag along with him. It was a lot of fun. The drive home was not so much fun because Aiden normally eats lunch around 10:45 at school but we eat much later than that at home. He was hungry even though he had just eaten donuts. We made it home an devoured chicken, goldfish and cheese.

I am happy that I managed to get everyone to take a nap! We will be out past bedtimes at my sister's apartment having cake for her 20th birthday. I can't believe she is 20 already. Seems like yesterday she was screaming and laughing at knee height! I have watched her grow up and it has been a crazy crazy ride and we did not always get along, but now we are so close. I am just not looking forward to all of us cramming into her apartment to have cake tonight! She was insistent that she wanted it at her place. Her first true apartment. I remember those days of being crammed into a space that is 1/4 of the size we are in now and I wonder how I ever did it! I think most of the time I was never home or having too much fun to care.

"Boomaroos"

So we were watching Kung Foo Panda the other night. There is a part in the movie where the panda is mocking his Master and he puts two bowls over his chest, kind of like a coconut bra but with soup bowls. Aiden starts laughing hysterically and says "look Mommy he has boomaroos". I was instantly confused because I had NO idea what he was talking about. So I of course asked. He immediatly starts poking my boobs and say "Like those Mommy, you have big boomaroos"! My mom was here and started laughing so hard I thought she was going to pee her pants. I was trying really hard not to fall out of the chair!
The things kids say.

So we made it through the weekend. Barely. It was an emotional and exhausting weekend. But we did make it and we now have another year to go through day by day. Brandon will be missed, but I know he would want us to live. So we are going to make the most of it and get through another year day by day. Thank you so much to everyone that has asked how we are doing or has just been there to listen. I means the world to us.

We have also been dealing with a furnace that just does not want to cooperate and give us heat! We ran out of oil and when we finally got a delivery the fan on the furnace stopped working and would automatically shut off to keep from over-heating. It has kept it at 60 in here though. We also have a space heater that we bring back and forth between the living room and upstairs for bedtimes. It will be back up to speed tomorrow though. Of course, after the bone chilling below zero temperatures have passed us by!

I hope you were able to get a laugh from my story today!

I remember....

I remember the first day that I held each one of my children.
I remember being scared with Aiden because I did not know what to do. It was all so new. I wondered what I would do when he would not stop crying, or if he wouldn't sleep. Now I wish for those days back as I watch him grow and become such a vibrant, imaginative child.
I remember with Calleigh I was worried that I could never love her as much as I loved Aiden. I worried I would never have enough love, patience and time to go around to both of them. I was so wrong. I loved them both so much and my love grew even more for Aiden when I saw him playing with her or gently rubbing her head to calm her down. I loved watching them together, interacting and just knowing that they loved each other.
I remember with Riley that I wasn't worried about my love, I had proven myself wrong when Calleigh came along and knew my love would only grow as time moved on. I was worried how Aiden and Calleigh would react. They had such a strong bond between the two of them that I was worried more about their love. Would they have enough to go around. Once again, I was proven wrong. Watching the three of them bond and grow together has been the most amazing experience. Yes, there are fights and arguements (both among them and with me). And yes, there is hitting and pushing. But overall I know that they love each other and they are so protective of each other. I know that bond. It is a sibling bond that no matter what you go through or where you are, you would drop anything and everything if you knew a brother or sister needed you; whether they said it out loud or not.
My hope is that the bond grows stronger with them and that they don't let the craziness of life get int the way. I know there will continue to be fights and they will pick on each other and maybe even be mean at times. I just hope that they too will continue to experience the love that they share now.

scrub, scrub, scrub!

I spent the day cleaning today from top to bottom and making sure the germs would be nowhere to be found when the brood returned home today. I ended up finding some things I had been looking for. A book we thought we lost and spent countless days searching high and low with several tear filled bedtimes, the baby thermometer that fell down behind Riley's dresser, the other black shoe that Riley had somehow managed to get into the cabinet in the bathroom (?), but most importantly I found a smidge of my sanity again. It has been a very very long two weeks. I went for 13 days with about 10 hours of sleep total in those 13 days. I was (and still am a little) exhausted. I don't know if there was a full moon or if the children just felt like climbing the walls for giggles-their's not mine. Even though I did not get to really do anything for myself today, I had 4 hours of loud music, rubber gloves and cleaners. I got to scrub away all the grunge that had built up in my brain. It was refreshing in so many ways.
My husband is off to play his "man-games". He goes every Thursday to drink, laugh, and play. He needs it and enjoys it. He is pretty stressed himself with attending school full time and working two jobs. He has been amazing at putting up with my lovely mood as well as the 3 other off shoots of my mood!
In my wake of cleaning I realized that my chilkdren do not play with half of the things they have, and there is really not much organization going on! I thought I had a good system going on, but it really isn't working. I think I am going to do the rain gutter book shelves under the window though. We have so so many books to organize and the baskets are overflowing with them. You pretty much have to dump them out to get to the book you want, and they always have the one in the bottom in mind to be reading! We also need a much better way to organize our art/craft stuff. Right now they are in those primary color plastic bins on a shelf in the kitchen, but it always looks so cluttered, I may just put doors or a curtain over the shelves to make it "hideable" if I don't feel like staring at it all the time! I love seeing the finished project and my house is by no means organized and clutter free, but I am trying to get to a point that it is "organized chaos". We may get there eventually, maybe by the time they reach puberty, but then I know we have a whole new mess to look forward to.
I am looking forward to tomorrow morning. I don't usually have the time to make a nice hearty breakfast (in other words actual cooking), but I am making it a point to get myself up early and make pancakes, sausage and hot chocolate for the very cold morning we have in store for us! I have decided to try two things and stick to them. Once a month dragging myself out of bed and making a true breakfast, not just the cereal or muffins. Also, once a month to make it to Aiden's school and have lunch with just him! He has been asking about me going and I would love to go, but it is just too difficult to take the other two and he eats at such an awkward time of day.
I am now hoping to take a few minutes to myself and work on reading my book and maybe a BIG cup of hot chocolate.

sorry, but another rant!

okay, so my son loves to ride the bus to and from school. We live only three minutes by car to the school and most days I could drive him because I leave for Stroller Strides anyway. However, you would think that riding the bus was the world's way of rewarding Aiden and that there is no other way to get to and from school. It is the middle of winter and cold would be an understatement for the weather outside right now. His bus is supposed to be at our house by 7:40 and school starts at 7:50. Monday we waited and waited out there until 7:55 and as we were walking back in the house the bus goes flying by without so much as a brake light twinkling in the dust. Tuesday we waited out there for 10 minutes and then I went in to get the phone and call the school. They in turn gave me the number to the bus garage at the hich school. I called and was told he was right around the corner and should be there any second (it was already 7:55 at this point). The bus finally showed up at 8. Today I am waiting and waiting and waiting and the bus never showed up, but today I had to leave the house by 8 to get Calleigh to her preschool so I could get to Stroller Strides on time. I drive Aiden to school and get Calleigh to school and am running 15 minutes late. I someohow made it to the UMall on time (whoops). I called the bus garage and the woman tells me they are on Plan B with Aiden's bus route. She says this like I am going to understand what she means. So after a few seconds of pause I ask her what that means. "Well we are short on drivers so other drivers have to finish their routes and then start that one. So it should be late for a few days". I then informed her it had already been a few days and I am wondering if it is going to continue because he loves riding the bus, but I don't want him standing outside for 20 minutes thinking it will be there on time and it is -5 degrees outside! "I expect it to be at least 10-20 minutes late for ther rest of this week and all of next week"..............well that's just a little more than a few days wouldn't you say? It would have been nice of them to at least notify me ahead of time that this was going to be happening. They have all of the information of who rides what bus. Even a letter in the mail or a phone call would be nice to let me know what to expect so I am not getting angrier, even though I already am. School starts at 7:50, so he has been late everyday this week and from the sounds of things will be unless I bring him. However, when I bring him it ruins the mood of the day because we end up arguing about it and he gets mad and yells such pleasures as "I hate you" and "you don't love me". So I guess I have to choose the lesser of two evils. Still not sure which one that would be!
We also went back into the doctor today for Riley's ears. He is on a stronger medicine to see if this will work and get rid of the ear infection. His tube in his right ear is also turned sideways. He thinks. Once he can see it better when all of the nasty drainage gunk clears out of the way we will see if it really is.
I also found a size 5 boot for cheap at Once Upon a Child! I am excited because now he can get down and actually walk around and play without me worrying....that is if the weather ever warms up! I do not like being stuck inside, kind of depressing.
Calleigh had school today and it was good to get that break. I love her dearly and love spending every minute possible with her, but a break is good for both of us every now and then! This is also Riley's Mommy and me day. We get to spend our time together and do our fun stuff like the older two get to do.
Now that I have ranted and I am freezing from getting Aiden off the bus I am going to fold laundry and get dinner going!

what a day...again! Calleigh has been up since about 2 this morning. She was wide awake like it was the middle of the afternoon. She is not complaining of anything bothering her, so I don't know what could be going on! Riley actaully slept and he does have less drainage today than he did yesterday, so I think we are on our way out of this latest cold.
On the other hand, I think I am getting it. yay.
I have so much stuff I should be doing right now, but my body just won't move. I worked out for about a half an hour, but my head was pounding so much that I had to stop. I have 4 hours Thursday morning to get everything done cleaning wise from top to bottom! I am hoping to get lunch in all by myself.
Well, ever since Calleigh has broken her bed we are on the search for a twin size mattress. My mom has a really cute wooden twin frame, but no mattress to go with it. We had planned on getting Calleigh into a twin bed for a while now, but every penny is strapped with Daddy in school and working two jobs. Now, we don't have a choice!

I am happy to have a plan for next Thursday. I have not been able to make it out of the house and get to playgroups/meetups or just about anywhere else. Tricia is coming down from Canada next Thursday and we are going to a Mom's Matinee and lunch. I can't wait! It will be nice to see her and the new little baby. Christina is such a cutie and gives me my baby fix for a while.

I am now off to sit with a cup of hot chocolate and maybe even read my book I have not been able to get to for a few nights.

dreading the weekend

Most of the time I look forward to the weekend. However, this Saturday is different. It is the one year anniversary of my younger brother's death.
Brandon was one of the most caring, lovable, strongest people I know. When he was five months old he was diagnosed with a Whilm's tumor in his kidney. He had his kidney removed and went through chemotherapy. He was still one of the happiest babies you could ever meet. He was always laughing and smiling. He went into remission and lived a life most would be jealous of. He was adventerous and athletic, even though his sports of choice were not allowed with someone that only had one kidney. So he stuck to baseball and was great at it! As he grew older he was always there for anyone, he would do anything you asked him to, without complaining. He was one of those rare teenagers! He loved hunting and fishing and just being outdoors. he once told me he felt connected to the outdoors. It just felt right to him. He was absolutely wonderful with my children. He would play with them and let them crawl all over him. When we asked him to be Riley's Godfather, you should have seen the pride in his eyes. He knew what that meant to us and what he meant to us.
I am just so sorry that Riley will never get to know him. Brandon died in a car accident just under three weeks after Riley's Baptism on January 17th, 2008. He was 17. It was his fault, he was going to fast and fooling around. It still does not make me understand why it had to happen to such a wonderful person. Aiden and Calleigh knew Brandon very well. They saw him almost everyday and they had a special kind of relationship with their uncle. They still talk about him every day. It is good in a way, because we can keep his memory alive through the kids and how they remember him. I want to encourage them to talk about him and tell stories or even just miss him and be upset. It just hits me harder every time they start though. I sometimes feel like I am grieving for four people. We also feel connected to him through Bridge Street. The cafe my father in law owns. Brandon worked there. I can still see his eyes behind the pizza counter where he would stand and throw fries at the kids and have that silly half grin on his face. I can almost still feel him when we are there, I guess that is why we still go so often.
Everyone there misses him, he was like a part of their family as well. We are all getting together there for lunch on Saturday then we will walk over to the cemetary. Marvin (my father in law) is doing such an amazing thing on Saturday at the cafe. He is donating 10% of his intake from that day to Camp Ta Kum Ta. Camp was such an important part of Brandon's life. He went there for, wow, 10 years I believe. He wasn't going to be able to go back as a camper last summer, but was planning on being a counselor there. He loved it and everything it was about. We held a benefit concert last June at the Monitor Barn in Richmond in Brandon's honor. It was free, but all donations went to camp. Absolutely everything was doanted in some way. The food, the drinks, the music, the door prizes....it was amazing. They ended up raising about $3200 for Camp. We want to do the same thing this year, but maybe on what would have been Brandon's 19th birthday. I think he would be so proud of everyone that is involved with it. He would have been the leader of the pack.
Brandon was a true inspiration to everyone he met. A little piece of our soul went with him when he left us. We miss him so much.
Sorry for the long and probably depressing blog, but this is the reason I am not looking forward to next weekend. I know it is going to be tough but it will be nice to be around family and friends and sharing stories and hopefully laughter of all the good times.
Love you B.
Brandon Kilburn
May 4, 1990-January 17, 2008

what else can she throw at me?

ugh. I love my little girl. She is one of the 4 most important things in my life (hubby and kids). However, I do not know if I am going to have hair by the time she is grown and out of the house. On top of the hair cutting and marker incidents, I have survived the climbing on the outside of the staircase and the bolting down the aisle at Walmart.....well, today she broke her bed! I don't even know how she did it or what she did! I was downstairs cleaning the kitchen. I had vowed to take a nap while they were sleeping, but so much for that. Yes, she was actually sleeping, I had just checked on her about 5 minutes beforehand. Well, I am in the middle of loading the dishwasher and I hear Calleigh's table moving (she has a small table in her room to play on. I immediatly closed the dishwasher and started my way up the stairs. That's when I heard a huge thump. then all was quiet! I immediatly panicked because I thought maybe it was not her table and she had knocked something else over. I hear her start to cry and open her bedroom door only to see her metal framed toddler bed snapped right in half. She had pulled the table over by the bed, climbed right up and jumped onto the bed. She knew I was mad and just looked up at me and said...I can sleep on the floor mommy and shrugged her shoulders. I just walked away. How frustrating.
I am also coming down with this stupid cold and I have tried so hard to push it out of my mind and hope that was enough to keep it away. My head feels like it is going to explode! Riley's cold is doing much better, but I am not sure about his ear infection. He still has nasty drainage and it seems to have changed color. it is actually pretty gross. He is behaving like his old self though. I have a call into the doctor to see if we can squeeze into the office today. I just hope nobody else get it (other than me).
I just realized what time it is and I have a child to get off the bus!

New ventures

I am so excited to be starting my own blog. I have so much to say and/or talk about that happens within our little lovable family and this seems like such a perfect way to communicate with everyone the daily happenings! So welcome to our blog!

Each day I sit here sometimes and wonder if I will make it through the day? I sometimes wonder if I will make it through the hour! Then I watch as my children grow and become more involved with each other and the fighting gets less and less. I am sure it will get worse again at some point! I remember what it was like in our family with four. I am looking forward to the day when I can tke a shower without worrying who is cutting whos hair and what part of their body is being drawn on with permanent marker.

I tried so hard not to laugh the other day when Calleigh came downstairs with her hair suspiciously shorter on one side than it was on the other. Aiden looked so proud of himself and what he had accomnplished....he thought her hair looked great! When asked what had happened and why her hair was that way, the five year old immediatly responds with "Well she asked me to cut her hair". Of course she did. She is three, why wouldn't it be fabulous if her brother cut her hair, Nama does it. I secretly love those moments because those are the times I will always remember and the embarrassing stories I get to tell them down the road.

I have to cut this time short, I am just so excited to be able to blog.